there are two things that make me smile when I'm (for example) sitting on the bus, waiting for it to arrive home. one of them is 1live, I witnessed den Dietz loosing against that phone candidate in the "Königsklasse", i.e. football ;-) very historical moment, as it seems. trash can got the second bump in two days *g* and, between those spoken parts, which just never seem to get boring, there's great music.
the other thing that enables me to smile sometimes is you :-* and particularly the memory of last saturday night, when you walked up to me with that amazing smile on your great face... I just can't stop thinking of it. you really stunned me with that one.
and, of course, that you said you missed me when we don't get to see each other, also might have been a help. I'm sorry because I think I didn't react like I should have.
but still... that memory makes me smile. as does the thought of you in general, especially since I started to get used to what I began to see as the whole long distance-relationship thing. I honestly can't say if I'll be fine with that. but there is a chance, and I really want this, and I think the last thing I wanted and was not sure about worked out (at least) okay, too. even you don't know this yet... if we're lucky, you will get to hear it some time soon.
and then, one more thing I'd like to say, even if it doesn't have much to do with those smile-making things: I am in the process of realizing that English as a language feels very natural to me. when I talk to myself (in my thoughts or with my bedroom walls for the audience), it's English, I hardly noticed that the book about Microeconomics is written in English, and I infact did NOT notice that I was writing my away message for icq in English, too, until I was almost done.
what was kind of funny was that before I started to realize that, Flocke told me to "nich auf dumme Gedanken kommen" and write the protocol of monday's meeting in German *g* I had to think of that one sentence from somewhere in the 'twilight-saga', where it says: "I smiled. He knew me well." the thing is, I don't remember exactly if it's "he" or "she" - which is of considerable importance if you want to reread that page in the book ;-) I have a feeling that it's "he" and it was Bella who said it, so "book two - Jacob" is out of it, and since in the first Bella book there doesn't happen much except the wedding and the pregnancy, and I think I remember that sentence being said in a peaceful situation, without tensions or panic in it, I guess it must be somewhere in "book three". that's quite a long one, however, so flipping through it for a couple of minutes won't do the job. I think in some distant part of my memory there was the thought of slight surprise, because who knows her so well (in my imagination) is Jacob and in the book it was Edward... or something like that. I don't know... but it's not exactly essential to my life here and now^^
the point I was trying to make is that I was shown that he knows me quite well - probably better than I would have guessed and maybe also better than I do myself. (!) he knew that I would have to concentrate on writing in German before I knew that myself.
it's approximately four now, I really have to get started with my [quoted from: icq away message] "agenda for today:
- clean up room
- clean up rabbit's house
- study for microeconomics
- file 1-inch-pile of statistics transparencies
- do HW for English classes on friday
- catch up on some sleep" [quote over].
I wish you all the best of luck and a good time until we meet again.